wake up, look out my window, feel dizzy sort of.  When I look up I feel as though I am in a tunnel. I am feeling that spinning feeling on a swing, my head hurts. My back hearts, my chest hurts, my hips hurt.  The comparison of feeling sober to not sober. This is delightful and scary, I love both, because both are important to me right now. I feel not sober when I stare at a photo for too long and get lost in its little colors. I feel not sober when I think about you too much. I think about what your body feels/felt like cupped next to mine, and I feel my brain start to throb with memory.  I imagine us in a movie theatre, empty, except for a few scattered couples and singles.  The screen bright and large.  My head throbbing with the feeling of flying, and then the most beautiful people look at me on the screen. Kissing in the grocery store, seeing you walk in front of me, me smelling like cupcakes.

I don’t want to go to movies alone anymore, I don’t want to.

Will you take me to a movie?